I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
