i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Randomize
