Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
