i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Randomize
