What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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