Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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