I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
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