I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
