I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Randomize