Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Randomize
