Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Randomize
