i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
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