i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
