Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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