The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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