The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
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