is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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