hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
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