i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
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