We're facebook friends in real life
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
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