Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Randomize
