so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
