lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Randomize
