I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Randomize
