You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
