i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
