I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize