dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I am midnight drunk by noon
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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