Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize