its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
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