they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
