You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
and she was petting her beer can
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
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