She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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