whats a polygalesbian?
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
27 Unforgettable Hookup Texts
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
19 Groupies Confess What It’s Really Like To Hook Up With Famous Rockstars
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba