my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
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I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.