I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.