someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
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