saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
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