Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
