The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
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