first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they're like a gay fantastic four
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Randomize