My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Randomize