My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
