I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
