My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
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Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
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So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
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