I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize