so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
