"it" just moved
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
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