so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Randomize
