Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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