I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
