i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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