Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Randomize
