She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
