what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
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