I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
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