oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Randomize
