there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Randomize
