walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
