Texts From Last Night

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  (407): View more from Florida

  Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot

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  (407): Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot http://tfl.nu/9dyf
  Replies (15) Good night (668) Bad night (2412) Order T-Shirt
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  This girl wants me to lick her pits

  (1-402): View more from Nebraska

  pits??

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though

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  (402): This girl wants me to lick her pits (1-402): pits?? (402): Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though http://tfl.nu/86dv
  Replies (33) Good night (678) Bad night (4146)
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  (602): View more from Arizona

  I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol

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  (602): I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol http://tfl.nu/1jiz
  Replies (21) Good night (1194) Bad night (5066)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.

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  (402): Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement. http://tfl.nu/h6nw
  Replies (43) Good night (685) Bad night (6318) Order T-Shirt
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....

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  (317): I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up.... http://tfl.nu/s81o
  Replies (66) Good night (13001) Bad night (630) Order T-Shirt
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  (810): View more from Michigan

  i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said

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  (810): i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said http://tfl.nu/bvpk
  Replies (41) Good night (6507) Bad night (671)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.

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  (407): Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing. http://tfl.nu/4f2e
  Replies (9) Good night (4518) Bad night (849)
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  (707): View more from California

  He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good

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  (707): He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good http://tfl.nu/rj3f
  Replies (19) Good night (5327) Bad night (949) Order T-Shirt
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.

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  (519): Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes. http://tfl.nu/ehgd
  Replies (35) Good night (904) Bad night (7940) Order T-Shirt
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.

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  (919): My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet. http://tfl.nu/ix9e
  Replies (67) Good night (17908) Bad night (1263) Order T-Shirt
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best

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  (847): I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best http://tfl.nu/7i53
  Replies (7) Good night (1930) Bad night (1138)
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  (940): View more from Texas

  Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers

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  (940): Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers http://tfl.nu/bomc
  Replies (14) Good night (3919) Bad night (742)
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  (702): View more from Nevada

  I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"

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  (702): I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le" http://tfl.nu/jcjk
  Replies (4) Good night (511) Bad night (779) Order T-Shirt
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  (515): View more from Iowa

  Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.

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  (515): Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself. http://tfl.nu/ezc4
  Replies (9) Good night (1223) Bad night (261) Order T-Shirt
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  (251): View more from Alabama

  You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.

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  (251): You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick. http://tfl.nu/r3wg
  Replies (3) Good night (490) Bad night (208) Order T-Shirt

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