Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
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