now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
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