the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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