i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
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