The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
