Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
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