i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
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