you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
The Olympian is in my bed
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize