I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
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